August 9, 2005

8/9/05 Málaga Spain

House with the shadow

Sometimes I think I have such bad luck. Today was a case in point.

Took a week off my running schedule to see if I could get the knee healed up. Got up early to do a short 3-mile run, but stopped at barely a mile when the pain started to come back. Guess the marathon is off. I was cutting it pretty short with the training schedule anyway. So, with more than a week off, there's no way I'd be prepared.

Class was good. It's such a joy to actual 'know' some of the answers. After class, Blanca gave me the info on the family I'm staying with for the next two weeks. It's a couple my age with two girls, ages 19 and 24. But when I mentioned it to a few classmates who've been here all summer, they said the husband was dying of cancer. When I asked Blanca about it, she said it was true but that she didn't think he was that sick.

Seems as if cancer keeps happening around me. A few years ago, I was a full-time care giver for my uncle who eventually died of a brain tumor. Because I had just returned from a long trip, and my healthcare experience, the family convinced e to volunteer. I spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week with him. I wouldn't trade that time for anything but I don't think anyone realizes what a difficult experience that was. I came back home a few days after he died.

Then recently, I met a very special woman and we had a wonderful budding relationship when, suddenly, her father was diagnosed with cancer and only had two months to live. That was four months ago and I haven't seen or talked to her in two months.

Now this. Here I was expecting to be in a house where the folks were looking for a little cultural exchange. Instead, I can't stop imagining moving into a house with the shadow of cancer over the whole family. I mean he is only two years older than me. If I demand other accommodations, I insult the family and possibly take money away from them that they might need. Blanca asked me to at least try it for a few days. But if I decide it's still not working out, I would still feel like I'm slapping them in the face. My experience in Spain keeps getting me down, or at least it feels that way to me.